One of my best friends, and really, one of the best people i'm lucky enough to know, is soon to be a married woman. My heart is filled with elation for her happiness, and the guy, well if there ever was a match made for each other it is she + him. I'm ecstatic to be able to call him my brother from another mother, as she is my sister from another mister.
This news coming now, well, it reminds me that me and the hubbs are going to be celebrating our 5th anniversary next month.
WE. ARE. 5.
Holy hell. I knew the day I married this wonderful man that we would be a great team moving through our lives together, I knew he was the best for me. And, he is the best. He is my everything. With a heart full of love for him, and with this news of my friend, I feel I have to say a few things about marriage, the way us Rucker's know it, and it might not be right but it works for us:
1. It is not a glamorous thing, being married that is, it is a very real thing. Its the reality of knowing that person will be there for you thick and thin, and honestly, it gets thick! With the right person the thick parts are manageable with a cool head and honesty.
2. Honesty. Learn it, live it, never stray even if it hurts. Honesty is the only way to make it, and its not just me being honest with him, Im honest with myself too. Write that down, be honest with yourself every day. You aren't a gem all the time, you suck sometimes, and by being honest with yourself you learn your weaknesses which helps improve the relationship you are in with YOURSELF, and that in turn helps the relationship with your partner.
3. Love. Every day I love the shit out of hubbs, every day, but some days I love him more than the day before. There is some real honesty for you. Love is easy, its loving him on the thick days that are hard. Learn patience, learn yourself, learn how to communicate, and you will learn love every day, especially the thick days.
4. Forgiveness. Yep, forgiveness, and not entirely of him, but of yourself. You are going to say and do some mean shit, honestly, you will and probably already have, so apologize and move on! Don't have regrets and dwell on what was said cause you cant change whats been done, but you can learn how to handle the situation for next time. Forgive him for what he does that hurts you, its likely unintentional.
5. Fight, then forgive. Write that down. When you are upset talk it out until its done, then forgive, and move on. Never ever bring up old shit in a disagreement cause you should have handled it when it happened, talk about the issues now not of the past. Never have I ever seen a healthy relationship that dwells on a past they cant change. Get emotionally healthy, move forward, and quit bitching about things you cant change.
6. Marriage is something that 50% of people fail at today, make your spouse your priority over all others, with the exception your children and yourself, and your marriage will be successful.
7. Never ever disregard their feelings, or your own feelings. Feelings are what make up a person and disregarding their feelings is just as severe as disregarding them in whole.
8. Work towards making yourself a better version of you every day. Every. Single. Day. The day you stop bettering yourself is the day you begin to lose yourself and you begin to lose them.
9. Make adventure. Don't become complacent with the boring monotony life can be, be adventurous, make adventure, have fun, dance, laugh, live, and enjoy yourself every day.
10. Lastly, making your person your priority is imperative, however, don't lose yourself in your marriage. Your relationship shouldn't define you, but it should make the definition of you a little richer, better, and more whole. Never forget the person they fell in love with, don't ignore her, shes the most important person in your life.
As we near out 5th anniversary we are making plans to renew our vows, yep, we are re-sealing this marriage deal and I cant wait. I cant wait to make those promises, again, to my hubbs. I cant wait to make those promises, again, to myself. I cant wait to spend the next 5, 10, 15, 30 years with this man.
I. CANT. WAIT.
