Vannah Rucker Blog: October 2015

Click Away 2015!!

Click Away wrapped up last Saturday, and for a week I've reviewed my time in San Antonio contemplating how to write this post, and, well, its overwhelming. I feel overwhelmed with the things I have learned, overwhelmed with the experiences I was lucky enough to have, and lastly overwhelmed with the people I met. On this trip I learned a lot about photography, however, I also learned a little something about myself:

Photography has made me an extrovert! Heck yes!

Last year I attended Click Away solo and made the mistake of not staying nearby the convention center, I felt left out, lonely, like the little black sheep, and, sadly, it was all my own doing. I still had a wonderful experience or else I wouldn't have attended CA2015 but I just felt left out. This year when making plans to attend CA2015 I made a promise to myself, even if I made a total ass out of myself I was leaving with a few new friends, and dang it I did that! Wednesday night at the local watering hole I sat next to a complete stranger with that pink badge and said hi, we talked for a while before I grabbed another gal with that same pink badge on, and before I knew it we were a group of pink badging gabbing gals! This got me thinking, and comparing myself to the Vannah of 1 year ago, and I'm a firm believer that my little photo business has demolished my introverted self!

I also learned a little something about my new group of friends who attended Click Away, these ladies are amazing! No, wait, more like AAAAAAHHHHHHMAZING! (Imagine I'm singing this really ridiculously loud to you while reading it lol!) Every single lady I said hi to and talked about life, family, and photography amazed me.

YOU ARE ALL F*CKING AMAZING!

OOP! Yes, I just said the F word. That's how strongly I feel about it.

I am not a mother, so imaging you doing what I do, plus having children to raise on top of it exhausts me. You are exhausting, and lovely, and wonderful, and inspiring.

YOU ARE MY INSPIRATION!

I met two gals much like myself with no babies at home, their sweet bubbly personalities exude and instantly I knew we would be friends. I met two single mothers, ladies, I don't know how you do it, your strength is what defines you and you are my super heroes! I met three mothers of two, ladies, your patience is amazing. Mothers of infants, toddlers, the goofy in between years, and mothers of teenagers. Holy MOTHERS! Being around all these mothers makes me think of the mothers in my daily life, don't think I forgot you moms! You and your babies are a part of my heart, you build the foundation that is me, you are the strength I seek. I love my mamma, my sister from another mister, and my sister in law, you all are wonderful, interesting, intricate creatures. And you too are my inspiration!

HOLY MOTHERS!

Never again will I say I don't have the time, energy, or whatever my latest excuse is, I will think of you amazing mothers and remember how strong you are to help me find my own strength.

I've also learned you all are your own Achilles heel, damn you lovelies! Nearly every friend I made said "this is just a hobby" or "i'm not a pro" and when I saw your work then, and now see your work in my FB feed (why lie, I totally stalk you all now lol!), it kills me, because you are a pro.

YOU ARE A PRO! Quit your lying and own what you love, OWN that sh*t girl!

In the final speech of the seminar with Sue Brice she reinforced what I had told my new found friends, quit that self defeating talk and accept and give love. To me that also means love your work, be proud, I want you all to say:

I AM A PHOTOGRAPHER AND I AM A PRO.

Sue Brice, holy hell that woman can give a speech! I was moved after Sues speech, absolutely touched with the words she said and how I could relate to her stories.

To be honest, as of last Saturday shes my new favorite role-model-human-being!

Now, I am not a mother but the things Sue said is so true of every mother I know. I see so many mothers ignore themselves and lose themselves in their lives, women who are absolutely wonderful but have lost a portion of themselves because it is such a big job to be a mother, sometimes a wife, sometimes a business owner, sometimes an employee, and often times all of the above at once. Accept love, give love, but remember yourself, love yourself, and never forget yourself. Life is much better when there is a little something left for you to embrace at the end of the day, something that is yours alone, and for all of us at Click Away it's photography.

I'm so very thankful for the friends I now have after making an ass out of myself, you are all bright amazing wonderful women and I cant wait to see your faces again (hopefully at our desert retreat!!)!!

My soul is full of inspiration, im planning, moving, and motivated again. FINALLY. I cant wait to share the upcoming projects this workshop has moved me to do.